"Soldier, Soldier" Parodies

The original:

Now soldier, soldier, will you marry me, with your musket, fife, and drum?

Oh, how could I marry such a pretty girl as you when I've got no coat to put on?

So off to the tailor she did go as fast as she could run 

and bought him a coat of the finest that there were and the soldier put it on.

Now soldier, soldier, will you marry me, with your musket, fife, and drum?

Oh, how could I marry such a pretty girl as you when I've got no shoes to put on?

So off to the cobbler she did go as fast as she could run 

and bought him a pair of the finest that there were and the soldier put them on.

Now soldier, soldier, will you marry me, with your musket, fife, and drum?

Oh, how could I marry such a pretty girl as you when I've got no hat to put on?

So off to the hatter she did go as fast as she could run 

and bought him a hat of the finest that there were and the soldier put it on.

Now soldier, soldier, will you marry me, with your musket, fife, and drum?

Oh, how could I marry such a pretty girl as you when I've got a wife at home?!

Goalie, Goalie by Anonymous

Now goalie, goalie, will you marry me with your soccer net and ball?

Oh how can I marry such a pretty girl as you when I've got no cleats to put on?

Then off to the soccer store she did drive as fast as she could drive

She bought him some cleats of the best that there were and the goalie put them on.

Now goalie, goalie, will you marry me with your soccer net and ball?

Oh how can I marry such a pretty girl as you when I've got no gloves to put on?

Then off to the sports store she did drive as fast as she could drive

She bought him some gloves of the best that there were and the goalie put them on.

Now goalie, goalie, will you marry me with your soccer net and ball?

Oh how can I marry such a pretty girl as you when I've got no jersey to put on?

Then off to the Lowes she did drive as fast as she could drive

She bought him a jersey of the best that there were and the goalie put it on.


Sarah, Sarah by Emma
Now Sarah, Sarah will you marry me with your laugh so high and young?
Oh how can I marry such a pretty girl as you when I got no teeth to put on?


And off to the dentist she did go as fast as she could jog
She bought her a pair of the shiniest that there were and Sarah put them on.


Now Sarah, Sarah will you marry me with your laugh so high and young?
Oh how can I marry such a pretty irl as you when I got no shine to put on?


So off to a spaceship she did go as fast as she could run
She got her a piece of the shining sun and Sarah put it on.


Now Sarah, Sarah will you marry me with your laugh so high and young?
Oh how can I marry such a pretty girl as you when I got a laugh at home?


French Fry, French Fry by Garry, Savanna, and Gracie
Now french fry french fry will you marry me with your katsup and salt?
Oh how can I marry such a pretty burger as you when I've got no plate to be on?


So off to the Panhandler she did go as fast as she could run
She bought him a plate of the finest there were and the french fry jumped on it.



Now french fry french fry will you marry me with your katsup and salt?
Oh how can I marry such a pretty burger as you when I've got no extra salt to put on?


So off to Safeway she did run as fast as she could run
She bought him some extra salt of the finest that there was and the french fry put it on.


Now french fry french fry will you marry me with your katsup and salt?
Oh how can I marry such a pretty burger as you when I've got no friends to be around?


So off to Burger King as fast as she could run
She bought him some french fry friends of the finest that there was and the french fry played with them.

Now french fry french fry will you marry me with your katsup and salt?

Oh how can I marry such a pretty burger as you when I've got a burger at Wendy's?